"To Never Be" - Tobias’s Light

       I couldn’t take my eyes off her, the young woman in the corner who seemed to be radiating a golden light. She seemed familiar to me somehow. Just the sight of her made me feel comfortable, despite all that I now knew to be around me. It was hard to make her out, the room seemed much darker now, and the golden light surrounding her was difficult to look into directly. From what I could tell she looked young, I would guess that she was in her late by her appearance.

       “She was with you both in the alley.” Stephanie said, “But she stayed with you when Nicene and I left.”

       “Who is it?” Nicene asked timidly.

       “I don’t remember.”

       “She seems to know you.” Stephanie pointed out, as the glowing girl exited the room.

       “This is as good a time as any to find out.” I said, taking leave of my chair and heading after the young girl.

       “Tobias wait!” Stephanie said quite forcefully as she grabbed my arm. “This isn’t right, I only meant to show you the problem, not to...” She hesitated for a moment and spoke again, “Not to show you something you aren’t meant to see.”

       “I don’t care Stephanie, I have to know who she is.”

       “You don’t want to go outside Tobias!”

       Shaking free of Stephanie’s grip, I quickly moved towards the door. I pushed open the door in a hurry, trying to determine where the glowing girl was headed. The streets were busy, as they were most every night in downtown Tucson; yet through the head lights and street lamps I could still make out that distinct golden glow. Stephanie and Nicene both followed me outside, for I hadn’t moved fast enough to escape them.

       “Stop Tobias! You don’t know what’s out here!” Shouted Stephanie from the open door way.

       “I don’t care.” I blasted back.

       “Tobias, I picked the bar for a reason.” Stephanie spoke, lowering her voice as she closed the door behind us. “Most every creature that would prey inside of a bar is a parasite, and even if something worse had been here, there was little chance they would ever risk getting close to Nicene.”

       “But I know her Stephanie, and I want to remember who she is.” Just as I said that, I noticed a break in the traffic large enough for me to safely bolt across. I sprinted as fast as I could through the lanes of traffic, leaving Stephanie and Nicene standing on the sidewalk behind me.

       I could see the girl, moving swiftly down the sidewalk. She was moving so swiftly that I could not keep up with her, and yet she did not appear to be running at all. Instead she looked as if she were simply gliding along the edge of the street, inches from the ground at all times. The girl continued to move away from me at an incredible speed. Despite the distance she was building between us, I could always see her golden glow emanating through the darkness.

       She turned a corner heading away from the bar, and I followed as fast as I could. Another right turn and I could see where she was headed. Still beneath the city’s skyscrapers, I could see a large white cathedral ahead of her, and another bright light matching in colour but much brighter than the light surrounding her. As we approached I could make out seven figures in the light; seven large figures, standing shoulder to shoulder forming a barrier before the doors of the sacred building. A lighting system had been installed to light the feature of the aging building, and one such light was centered on a stone tablet reading “St. Augustine Cathedral”. She stopped in front of them for a moment, and then turned to look at me. As she did, all seven figures looked towards me in unison. Suddenly one of the figures stepped forward, moving just enough for her to pass between them. The glowing girl moved through their blockade and passed through a door behind them. The seven glowing men were standing beneath an arched door way with two wooden Spanish style door close behind them. I had stopped running as the girl entered the church, partially to catch my breath and also to allow time for Nicene to catch up with me.

       As I waited for the two girls to make their way to me, I took time to look over the seven glowing figures, which had never stopped starring at me. All seven were much taller than me, with very muscular bodies. They were dressed in solid white, which only helped to reflect back their golden glow, and each was holding a double pronged, spiraled spear. I had lost track of time starring at the glowing men, when I heard a familiar voice shouting from behind me.

       “Now do you see why I didn’t want you to go outside?! There are things in this world you aren’t supposed to understand. You could ha...”

       Interrupting Stephanie in mid sentence I asked an unexpected question, “Why were you so sure the things in the bar would be afraid of Nicene?”

       Stephanie looked extremely confused, but answered me rapidly. “We all have something to hide Tobias, especially those who are hiding. Nicene’s presence has the ability to expose them all.”

       “We all have something to hide.” I repeated to myself, “That’s what I was hoping to hear Stephanie.” I smiled at her, and then turned to Nicene and said, “Nicene could you open that door for me?” pointing towards the large wooden church doors.

       “No!” Blurted Stephanie, “Tobias, you can’t go in there!”

       Stephanie’s outburst only seemed to make up Nicene’s mind for her. Nicene ran up the stairs towards the door, and as she did the seven figures blocking the door quickly moved out of her path, putting a swift distance between them and her. She reached for the door handle, and slowly turned around.

       “It’s locked Tobi.” Stated Nicene from atop the three stairs leading to the door.

       “Damn it!” I muttered, trying to come up with another way to get inside the ancient building.

       Nicene started to walk back towards me, when a loud mechanical click sounded from behind her. She stopped moving, slowly turned around, and the three of us saw the door begin to open. Walking out from underneath the archway was the glowing girl, and for the first time I could see her clearly.

       “Kristi.” I whispered to myself.

       The glowing girl nodded, and began to walk down the stairs. She passed through Nicene, who was still starring into the church wondering how the door had opened.

       She walked up to me and put her hand next to my face. We looked at each other for a moment, when suddenly she spoke, “I’ve come out to make this right Tobias.”

       “But you can’t be here.”

       “Why do you say that?”

       “Be... because you left.” I said, stuttering as a flood of emotions hit me.

       “I never left you Tobias. I have been with you ever since that night. You stayed by my side long after I had passed, and I could not bare the thought of leaving you alone. I have helped you in what little ways I could over the years, even tonight.”

       “Tonight?” I paused, trying to catch my breath. “Do you mean in the alley? The fire? That was you?” I asked as tears began to slide down my face.

       “Yes, but Tobias you can not stay like this, humans are not meant to see what is not shown.” After saying that she looked in Stephanie’s direction. Then turning her head back towards me, she looked into my eyes and said, “I must do what is right. I wish I could tell you what to do tonight, but I think you already know one death can change the world. I have always been with you Tobias. I’ve made you who you are, and who you will become.”

       Slowly she brought her hand to my lips, and just when I thought I felt her touch, she vanished before my eyes.