The Rant of Our Discontent ......

Continuing with my apparent Steinbeck method, this rant will serve more as an inside joke than an actual rant, and I apologize about that right now. But apologizing can get old, like when those annoying damn people who take up the middle of the bed apologize all day about having hogged it all night. (tsk tsk) Oh well, I guess the “tips” wouldn’t be as much otherwise. As far as tipping goes, why did I see a tip jar in a McDonalds? Are we supposed to tip McDonalds employees now? I mean, there is never one around when you need one, and on the off chance that you can find one they either don’t take debit cards or they don’t have a damn parfait! I think you should have to be 25 to leave a tip, I mean it isn’t like you can do anything else unless you are 25. I couldn’t even rent a car on New Year’s, and the only place that would allow you to rent wanted to charge 75 dollars day, plus mileage. But then there is always Greyhound, master of being late and scary. Continuing along with my problems with transportation, did you know that Frequent Flyer Miles have nothing to do with actual miles? It cost 25,000 miles to get a free 20 minute (100 mile) plane ticket. So how many miles would you need to take an actual vacation to another country? At least I’m smart enough to take a plane, where as I have heard stories of people calling into Greyhound and asking about tickets to Hawaii and Zaire. (I recently found out there is a Greyhound call center near by, so I get to hear all the interesting complaining, but Zaire! Come on, stupid woman!) But there are those people who think since they have a credit card, they can do anything. But there are always problems, like the damn hotel that wouldn’t allow you to eat breakfast in your room, then they charge you double, plus movies one you have never ever heard of. (and probably didn’t want to) Weird stuff, involving midgets and barber shops, surely with lots of tattoos and piercing. Speaking of piercing, what is the deal with the trend of 3 inch gages in people’s ear? Why would you want to make your ears bigger!?! And with a giant hole none the less! I have seen some of them big enough to fit those damn New Year’s horns into, but only forwards, because when you do it backwards things get complicated. (*cough*) It’s kind of like eating “Dippin Dots” with chop sticks, but not as painful. I guess eating “Dippin Dots” is good training for all the ice eaters out there. “Dippin Dots” is like ice for the younger generations, although I don’t think we should be giving them sugar, they have enough energy as it stands, just pawn them off on “Kingdom Hearts” and all your worries disappear. (Even if it’s only a-mage-on-airy, like the people who aren’t posting on my damn message board!) If video games don’t work, you can always resort to tickling, or bribing them to tickle others, that is the ultimate way to get some peace. Of course taking them to strip clubs could prove interesting, but I don’t know how well the establishment would look onto that. (hmm, think of all the odd subliminal cherries you could fit in right here. *good night*) At least I didn’t have to drive anywhere with those kids, my luck I would have gotten stuck behind the oxygen people. Who has stickers that tell you they have oxygen on board, unless it is a giant truck or something? I want one of those stickers just so when I drive I can drive really slow and piss people off to no end. Pretend to be going to the (cherry) pie store or something. Although pie store would probably kick me out on account of my hair and all, but at least mine looked good for a while, till it all washed out. Now like the "Master of the Annoying MIDIs" it is kind of dull...